Yes, I’m Wearing a Ring on THAT Finger. No, I’m Not Married

And yes, it feels a little weird.

Several years ago, I bought myself a plain white gold band. I wanted a ring that I bought myself, but I’ve never been big into diamonds so I decided a simple band was THE ONE. I bought white gold for two reasons: I have dyshidrotic eczema on my hands and have to be pretty careful with what I put against my skin, and I wanted the ring to last many years without bending out of shape like sterling silver can.

That ring symbolized a commitment to myself: to loving myself, to being kind to myself, and to accepting myself. It felt self-indulgent at first, but I reminded myself that people wear rings to symbolize commitment to another person- i.e. a wedding ring or promise ring- so it was perfectly fine to have a ring to symbolize commitment to myself.

I bought the ring to wear on my right ring finger. My left ring finger was off limits until I was off the market, or so I’d been taught. Never directly, mind you. My mom didn’t sit me down and tell me I could never wear a ring on my left ring finger unless I had a husband (or a wife, for that matter), but I knew. We all knew. The left ring finger is the marriage finger. I figured if the left ring finger was reserved for showing your commitment to someone else, it seemed fitting that the right ring finger was to show commitment to yourself.

Like most people, my fingers change size. They’re bigger in the morning and smaller at night. They’re smaller in winter and larger in summer. My right fingers are bigger than my left because I’m right handed. If you haven’t noticed this about your own hands, it’s probably because you don’t wear rings, but trust me, it happens to everyone. The ring fit perfectly fine on my right ring finger when I bought it in the fall, but I noticed in the summer months it was uncomfortably tight. It even looked tight; it was creating little bumps of finger flesh on either side of it. So I took it off.

That was my MO for several years. Wear the ring in the cooler months, put it in the jewelry box for the summer months. My eczema is worse in the summer months anyway, so I reasoned that it would probably be best not to have anything on my fingers to exacerbate it.

Seeing as I’ve been going through a bit of a mental shift with myself lately, I decided I wanted to put the ring back on. I wanted to have the reminder of my commitment to myself on my body. There was just one problem- it’s April, the weather is warming up, and the ring felt like it might cut off circulation in my right ring finger.

So I put it on my left ring finger.

I’m not married. I have no intention of getting married or even having a relationship. I’m perfectly happy to be single for life, thankyouverymuch. So you know what? Screw it. I’m wearing the ring on my marriage finger.

It feels a little weird. I’m not used to having a ring there. I’m wondering if people are going to ask me if I’m married and if it will be weird to say “No, that’s just the only finger the ring fits on.” I’m wondering if my family will give me a hard time for it.

But I’m doing it anyway, because it’s MY finger. It’s not real estate that I’m just renting until someone else buys it with a diamond.

Overflowing with love,

Cate

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