May Goal and Hopes

When I turned 30 at the end of January, I decided to set myself mini goals each month. I wanted to carve a clear path toward the life I want. Instead of thinking “someday I’ll do xyz,” I now have steps to get me there.

The goals are varied, but are all bite sized. I know myself, and I know I tend to dream big and then crash down hard when I realize how much work my dream will achieve. Baby steps, Cate, baby steps. So my goals are little: walk my dog 4 times a week, turn off the TV and minimize phone use after 7 pm, dedicate an hour a weekend to writing, etc. I have one goal set aside for each month, so I don’t get overwhelmed trying to do too much at once. When the month is over, I let it go. I figure if it’s something worth sticking to, after a month I should have a habit formed. And if it didn’t work for me, I just walk away from it, knowing I gave it a fair shot.

May’s goal is meditate for 5 minutes each day. I’m not setting a specific time of day, since I know it’ll be best for me to do it when I feel like it. Sometimes that’ll be in the morning, sometimes before bed. I’ve tried to develop a meditation habit before and determined it isn’t for me, but honestly I’ve never really given it a fair go. So this is my chance!

I’m not hoping for more peace, less stress, or transcendence. I am thankful to have a relatively low-stress life and I already have a good stress-relief toolbox compiled for when the bad times do hit. What I’m looking for is clarify. I know I am creative. I know I have good ideas. I know I could write stories upon stories upon stories, maybe even a novel. My head is full of ideas, always fluttering around like dollar bills in one of those money-grabbing booths. Have you ever tried those? Grabbing those bills is darn near impossible, and that’s how I feel. I have all these ideas in my head, and I just can’t grab one to get a good look at it. It’s incredibly frustrating, and often leads me to think I have nothing to write about. Luckily, I’m an optimist by nature so I can convince myself this isn’t true. Everyone has a story to tell.

I’m hoping that meditation will help me to catch some of these ideas. Maybe I just have to put two together to create a really good idea. Maybe one idea will lead to another. But before I can do anything, I have to get them to sit still so I can examine them, and that’s what I’m hoping to get from my meditation practice.

Overflowing with love,

Cate

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